Red Carpet Cafe

Beyonce and Gwyneth Paltrow are such close friends, that Paltrow’s two children call her, “Aunt B.”  Yes, they call Beyonce, Aunt B, like the 100 year old lady from the Andy Griffith Show.

How in the HELL did Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin become best friends with Jay-Z and Beyonce!?  How did The Royal Family of Hip Hop and R&B befriend The Royal Family of decreasing popularity?  Did Beyonce and Gwyneth run into each other at the super market?!  I don’t think so! Not unless Beyonce is eating tree leaves these days…Beyonce eats fried twinkies and Gwyneth Paltrow is still pushing that “GOOP” shit…so we know they don’t do lunch together.

It’s been reported that Gwyneth’s children will see Beyonce on TV and say, “Look at Aunt B mommy!”  WTF could these four people have in common?!  I imagine Beyonce says something like, “Oh girl, that gumbo be delicious diva…” and Gwnyth Paltrow is just scratching her head asking for a translation…meanwhile on the other side of the table, Chris Martin is asking Jay-Z how to remain revelant in the music world???

I’m uncomfortable with this friendship…I do not like it, I think Beyonce thinks she might win an Oscar by assocation.  Remember, Beyonce said she keeps a painting of an Oscar statue in her training room…Well, BFF Gwyneth already has one…which you know, has Beyonce’s fingerprints and saliva all over it